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July 30, 2001 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which had and would continue to change the rest of my life. For 6 months before hand I had sever pain throughout my body, unable to walk on my own, and had seen numerous doctors that didn’t know what was wrong.

 Fibromyalgia, like many other chronic pain disorders can wreak havoc on and individual’s life. On the hot July morning all I remember was that was the end of my life. Fibromyalgia is a chronic illness that once you have it you will have to learn to live with it for the rest of you life. Those words still haunt me to this day “the rest of my life.” The more I read about what I would face in the coming months and years scared me. I got to the point as I had no energy or strength to set up in bed, more less move one muscle to get out, think why does God still have for me in this life on earth.

Days got dark and lonely as I began to lose touch with friends. Their life kept going and they began to graduate and start families. My life stood still and I didn’t know what shape I would be in the following day.

 I read an article just the other day that said one of the overlooked causes of this chronic condition is dysfunction in the nervous system. With this being said some of the symptoms are: Episodes of depression/anxiety, difficulty  scanning pages while reading -check, Difficulty adding or subtracting, difficulty expressing what you want to say – check – at times, difficulty understanding what others say to you – check, loss of short or long term memory, loss of sensation (numbness) – check, use to but not much any more, changes in handwriting – check, more irritable or angry, problems with balance – check, tripping or dropping things – CHECK (At this point I began to cry. Hint- Fallen Girl), and the list continues.

 God has healed my body, though there are still little things I do that I hold my breath because I know that it isn’t the normal Karen 9 years ago. I might laugh it off around people but deep down I start seeing it being the beginning of a horrible roller coaster ride all over again. I have to have faith that God has a plan and there is a reason he brought me through this and I am on the other side and trust he healed me for a reason.

 While I was participating in the Country Music ½ Marathon a couple a weeks ago every step on the course I was reminded that God was with me. I kept seeing images of me in a wheelchair just 5 years ago and in hospital beds not being able to move. It was my Great Physician that allowed me to finish the ½ Marathon strong and He was with me every step.

Running     Marathon

I thank my Lord for all he has brought me through and where he will lead me. My prayer today, on this Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, has been for this story and all the others who are suffering with FMS.

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I was talking to my mom last night and she was telling me about a phone call she got that broke my heart and brought back so many terrible memories.

A woman had called and said that Pam, my beautician before I moved, had given her my mother’s number and she should call and talk to her.  This woman has a 20 year old daughter that is attending the University of Kentucky that got sick in the middle of the school year and had to come home and take incompletes in her courses. She can’t think clearly which affects her from setting in class, studying, and even working.  This girl has gone to chiropractors, message therapists, and tones and tones of doctors.  Her final diagnosis is FIBROMYALGIA.  *My heart drops*

Where does she go from here?  She wants to finish school, she has an apartment in Lexington that she has to work to pay for, and her parents insurance says they will not carry her if she does not go to school. *terrible memories* Let me tell you I know how much she needs insurance. When you are taking over 20 pills a day and having doctors and hospital bills, you have to have insurance.

 

This girl’s mother called because Pam saw me go through the same things.  Pam saw so many similarities in my story in this girl’s. Many times Pam would help me from my old lady walker into the salon chair, listen to me mumble because it took all I had to just think of words more less vocalize them.  Pam saw me at my low points but she also got to see me looking and feeling like myself again, pain and drug free.

This mother, like any loving mother, wanted to know what she could do for her daughter.  She would go to the end of the earth to see her daughter well again. This daughter has goals to accomplish and dreams.  This mother wants to be able to see her daughter laugh with her friends again, see her walk across the stage to accept her diploma at the University of Kentucky, help plan for a wedding.

My mother told her how much our two stories were alike. Mom told her about the chiropractor that I went to and the home rehab that I do that turned things around.  I had people all over that were praying for me.  People that I have never meet committed to pray for my healing.  I know God lead me to this doctor and my savor is the great physician. I had a professor that said to me, “Wouldn’t it be great if you could have a picture of everyone that prayed for your healing.”  I know that will never happen though I try to imagine what that would look like.

**I ask that you will remember this girl and her family in your prayers.  I don’t know what type of spiritual life they have and what type of prayer support they have but I do know how much it meant to me and that God can answer prays even if you know the person or not***

 

Many of my goals and dreams for my life have changed.  A few months ago my pastor did a series called Plan B.  In this series God showed me that the past 8 years was part of his Plan A.  God knew before he created me that I would have FMS, that it would take me 7 years instead of the planned 4 years to walk across that stage at Campbellsville University to receive my diploma, that I would not be married by 24, and that I would have a testimony of healing.  Though I have shifted to my Plan B, my Plan A was never as great as the life I am living now.

I am a person that always wonders what if.  What if I didn’t get sick? What if I graduated in 4 years? Would I be living in Nashville?  Would I have the job I have now?  Would I be attending CrossPoint?  Would I have met all the great friends I have met?  As my niece would say, “Maybe yes, maybe no.” 

I might not be able to answer those questions but I know I can answer one question. I know that I am thankful for what I have gone through. 

I did not mean for this entry to be this long and I will try and keep most of my postings short.  

What is breaking your heart today?

What are some things that have changed your Plan A?